I was fortunate enough to get my first vaccine this weekend. As I sat in the gymnasium waiting the 15 minutes until I could leave I was struck by a volcano of emotions. I felt incredible gratitude for scientists and health care workers that have brought us to this point, and immense grief for the almost 3 million deaths across the world. I felt hope for what changes the vaccine might bring to my family’s life, and yet fear look at the rising numbers of cases and proliferation of variants. I felt grateful to receive a vaccine after what has felt like years of isolation, and yet aware that for millions of people around the world the vaccine is not even on the horizon. I had 10 minutes left so I pull out my phone to pass the time, as I read about the trial of Derek Chauvin and the continued increase of Anti-Asian hate in the is country I mourn the life of George Floyd and trauma experienced across the country, and yet I have (maybe naïve) hope that change is possible and coming through the work of those committed to a better tomorrow. I think back over the semester and year we’ve had on campus and I’m struck by heartache and the overwhelming grief we all carry… and yet I’m reminded of the joyful sounds of students basking in the sun and playing badminton in the Silliman courtyard. I was happy, grieving, hopeful, overwhelmed, scared, nervous, cautious, thankful – you name it and I think I felt it in those 15 minutes. What does it mean to hold all of these emotions and thoughts simultaneously? I think for the most part it translates into exhaustion. I am tired, we are all tired, and we’re feeling all the feelings right now. I know when I’m this exhausted I need to be gentle with myself, air on the side of generosity, take the time I need to go back to the basics – sleep, eat, drink water, find sunshine, find safe ways to be with people. I need to lower my own expectations recognizing the trauma of this past year. I hope you all can do the same. As I left the gym I watched the relief on people’s faces, and excitement of what will soon be possible. I hope we can both be gentle with ourselves but continue to dream together about the future.