When I was 24, I decided to pray for 30 days to find out whether it worked. At first, because the Buddhist tradition in which I was raised isn't framed by a God figure, I didn't really know to whom or how to pray. Over time, I found my prayers could be comprised of three parts:
1. Giving thanks: I opened with identifying and appreciating the many gifts, joys, healthy relationships, and blessings in my life. This recognition of abundance gave rise to gratitude, a warm feeling that brought ease and wellbeing into the heart.
2. Setting intentions or aspirations: As with Buddhist kindness meditation, I began with "May [pronoun]..." and then thought of challenges ahead. "May I respond with wisdom and gentleness at today's difficult meeting." "May my friend be safe and healthy as she travels."
3. Letting go: Knowing there were causes and conditions outside my control that result in disappointment, setbacks, or unfulfilled expectations (the worst!), I ended with a bit of surrender. "May I receive the outcome of this with graciousness." "May I accept this person as they are."
I found these three parts are also manifest in meditation. Mindfulness automatically gives rise to appreciation--the restful peace of the breath or songs of the birds. Intentions are formed through directing the mind to divest from the unwholesome and invest in the wholesome. Even meditating itself is the enactment of the intention to live an awakened life. And letting go, letting be, is found in cultivating a nonjudgmental and loving relationship to whatever is arising here and now.
On the last morning of my experiment, I prayed, "I would like some sign that prayer should continue to be a part of my practice." That afternoon, a "You Have a Package" note was placed in my student mailbox. It was from someone I met briefly, a friend of a friend, a year before. He'd sent me a book out of the blue. The title? The Power of Prayer.