“Say what you mean and mean what you say”
As someone who was often hesitant to share my true feelings, I often heard this phrase growing up. I continuously revisit this lesson as I work to express my needs
and beliefs proudly and clearly.
Leaving home for college has shown me a variety of value systems and approaches to difficult conversations. This can cause confusion and conflict but also learning
from other lifestyles. Because I care for my community, I carefully listen before sharing my feelings. As I listen, I appreciate the opportunity to learn and worry less
about formulating the perfect defense or analysis. After assimilating my peers’ knowledge with my own, I feel prepared to speak clearly and confidently while being
open to changing my mind.
Obviously, we don’t always need to share our opinions or convince others to agree with us. Still, having open conversations about our needs and values creates a
stronger community. When I enter these discussions, I first assess the true meaning and implications of what I am trying to express. If my intentions are not 100% where
I would like them to be, I reach out to trusted individuals and pray about it. Our feelings can be all-consuming in the moment, so having external guidance helps us
pause before acting hastily. Ultimately, you choose how you move forward, but additional perspectives are important guides on the path to expressing yourself
respectfully and confidently.
Once I truly understand myself, I can best follow the advice from my childhood. While discomfort is inevitable, and not everyone will be ready to hear you, advocate
for yourself and your beliefs. As long as you know that what you mean is expressed with full conviction and without bad intent, you have done your best for that day.